not ashamed to say that I LOVE HOOTERS

it is true. i love hooters. and not boobies. watching that 2girls1cup video today was enough to put me off bazongas (thanks to franses for teaching me this word) forever.

but HOOTERS - the restaurant. the good time party place. i fargin' LOVE going to hooters. it is delightfully tacky, yet unrefined. at least that's what their menu says. things i love about hooters include:

1. the bud light that comes in the special orange aluminum bottle



2. buffalo chicken strips - for the past few weeks i've been crazy for buffalo flavor. i do not know if it's the vinegar or the spice but i'm wanting all buffalo all the time, mozzarella included.

3. Bran Muffin - my favorite hooters girl. her name is Brandi and she's rarely at "my" hooters (in santa monica a mere 3 blocks from work.) on account of her career as a backup dancer for bands on tour. but she was there tonight, chasing a busboy around with a fruit roll up hanging out of her mouth, hiking her orange spanks up her rear and then doing pushups/tricep dips on the bar with her co-waitress. she's not cute but she sure is funny. world renowed for her monkey impression. she taught me that black hooters girls have to wear the same shade of nylons as the white girls. and that they cost $5 in the locker room. no runs allowed.

here's a picture i found on google images of bran muffin and 4 frattish guys, two of whom are rockin' the shocker

juno? yeah, i know.

(thanks to ben for leaving his computer home so i could use it. my computer has died of dysentery.)



monday night was the premiere of JUNO, which is the first movie i've worked on that my name appears in the opening titles. that got ben and me invited to the premiere. here we are with the track team that appears at all juno-related events.



jack black track

other halloween highlights

halloween is my favorite holiday. it's actually my favorite day of the year. our beloved city of west hollywood feels the same way and closes down a mile of santa monica boulevard so all the gays, trannies, weirdos and their friends can stroll, booze, make out, take photos of eachother, and celebrate over bacon wrapped hotdogs and pinkberry. there's usually at least one naked person, legions of drag queens, britneys, and ye ole sexy cat.


they should be on the city seal



tara reid.


from left to right:
doesn't roll on shabbos, abides, Quintana (that creep can roll, man), likes sarsaparilla


most brilliant costume on the blvd. dressed as the bacon wrapped hotdog vendors of hollywood.





halloween photo with LA icon Harry Perry. a tradition we've maintained for at least 7 years.

finally...HALLOWEEN PHOTOS!

since my computer is out of order, it's taken quite some time to get these posted. but here they are. halloween photos! ben and i went as justin timberlake and andy samberg doing 'dick in a box'. as you can see, we were not alone. but we were the most accurate. here are the photos we snapped backstage at the CMAs.



only other guy with junk in that box


a decent showing


they said they were the "remix" but they're just regular guys holding shoeboxes in front of their crotches. weak.


his box stands up


asian dirk diggler cut a hole in the box


vern yip lookalike wants to show you that you're his shining star


she put her boobs in that box


meh.

i thank you, sir: that's all. (King Lear IV.vi)

or, how the fool made my year




this is sylvester mccoy. no, not ian mckellen. the guy sitting on his lap. sylvester mccoy, the man responsible for making my dream come true.

burns sent out a group email on april 27, 2007 alerting us to the RSC's upcoming production of king lear, starring ian mckellen. it sold out here in LA immediately. i've been stalking tickets on ebay and craigslist, but they're going for up to $900. my boss worked all her connections and came up short. she'd seen it already and was so impressed by the actor playing the fool that she had me track him down and ask him to come in for a meeting today.

i gave sylvester my cel phone number on the off chance that someone in the cast ended up with an extra. i'd told him that no matter what, i was going to be outside the theater tonight trying to get in, planning to have cash on me in case someone was selling.

by 6:45 pm (showtime's 7:30pm) i knew my chances of sylvester coming through were over, and my chances of getting a seat at all were dwindling. and then...6:58pm. my phone rings.

"kara? sylvester. i hope you're outside the theater because there's a ticket for you at the box office under my name."

i'm not sure if i shreiked or started crying first, or both. but i ran out of the office, all lights on, all doors unlocked, and sped away to the show.

thank you sylvester, you made my year.

(sidenote - cne was not exaggerating when describing what ian mckellen has to offer his gentlemen friends. 'every inch a king'? indeed.

christmas wrapping paper is hard to find in october

this is what i learned today. for ben's and my halloween costume, we need christmas themed wrapping paper. and gold herringbone necklaces. both of these things are muy dificil to find in october. the necklaces are hard to find because it is not 1992.

i visited the following establishments in my search.
1. the 99 cent store - no paper, no chains. they did have a pregnancy test. i have to think if you're buying that you probably bought your condoms there too.

2. target - 2 rolls of sponge bob christmas paper, no chains. passed on the sponge bob paper but did spend $40 on lotion, a new shirt, lint rollers for ben's pigsty (my new name for the couch) and box-o-wine. got the #3 combo at the snack bar of a pretzel and diet coke. target inexplicably makes babies cry the moment they get off the express elevator. which drove me to...

3. bevmo - no paper, no chains. did not expect to find either but did buy 3 bottles of different sauvignon blancs, each with a screw top. thanks to real simple mag for the idea of doing a wine tasting. will do wine tasting on my own shortly. that is what a screw top is for.

4. rite aid - no paper, no chains. had high hopes for this on account of the 'door prize' i won at aaron ehasz party the night ben and i met. it was a jewelry set with a herringbone necklace and bracelet. this was, however, 9 years ago. i suppose i was deluding myself if i thought they'd still have the set in stock. did purchase brown wet-and-wild eyeliner (for beard/goatee application) and single scoop of chocolate malted crunch.

5. longs rexall square. - PAPER! they had it! and several kinds to choose from. i bought 2 different kinds. rexall square is the best drugstore in la. no chains, though.

6. cheesy accesories/teen clothing stores in the beverly center - including but not limited to (no, not Limited, Too - they dont have that store in there) Forever 21, 21 Love, Claire's, the Limited and finally...H & M. where i got CHAINS. the only herrinbone chains in LA. they are too long but i will figure out a way to shorten them.

happy birthday to lubes!

to jessica lubarsky - she whose laugh is contagious AND infectious, whose ass is so fine that men actually chase her down the street yelling "hey you! come back here! i like you!" she who can make a young southwestern girl fall in love with broccoli rabe and at the same time, appreciates the simple laughs of full house. she who has taught so many, so much. from the value of timeblocking to the pleasures of a morning coffee. a teller of dirty stories, a place to come home to after a red-eye flight. a perfect ringlet, a tiny high waist and all the curves above and below. my friend, jessica. lubes. happy birthday to you. with much love.

ina before and after

before


nate park dixon
october 5

why did daz move to nyc?

heh, tista?


to be 1092 miles closer to THE CORN!

cocopah mustangs' changes in the past 6 weeks, part 3

john mccormack


moves his member to michigan
october 16

cocopah mustangs' changes in the last 6 weeks, part 2

jeff cox becomes

mr. liz flahive
september 8

cocopah mustangs' changes in the last 6 weeks, part 1

camille says aloha


to kawai wyatt ede
september 3

this is toe-boating

wedding roundup 2007

who: jeff cox and liz flahive
when: september 8
where: nyc
(i do not have a pic of the bride. so here's a pic of ben and me outside the theater where they got married. it's right next to the colbert report. rad.)
highlights: quiz on the wedding program, dishing with brian golub, ryan bhandari explaining his bionic eye

who: rebecca longworth and justin willow
when: september 29
where: cape cod
highlights: toe-boating with viva - this is when someone (james) pulls one or two people around in the pool by their big toes. someone has a photo of this. lynn in her suit. longworth's dad's beard. and every moment with 12 of my best college friends all in one place for the first time in years. nothing compares to that.

who: alia matthews and eric mcdonald
when: october 6
where: pittsburgh
highlights: alia's shoes at the rehearsal dinner, andy warhol museum, chicken dance, cuban shuffle and polka-ing at the reception, pennsylvania macaroni's homemade mozzarella

next up...eric ziemann and biz lopez
when: october 20
where: los angeles

correction

the top photo is 'magnum'
the bottom photo is 'blue steel'

pittsburgh (blue) steelers

apparently the only thing people do in pittsburgh is watch the steelers play football and drink beer. this accounts for the overall look of most pittsburghers (and NOT the kind of 'burgers' theo and cockroach used to talk about). fat, pasty, and clashing. does yellow and black go with anything?

here are two pics of ben in the burgh. the first is him doing 'blue steel'. the second is 'magnum'.

thank you, andy

this weekend ben and i flew to pittsburgh for alia's wedding. tomorrow i will create a roundup based my 3 east coast wedding trips in the past 5 weeks.

this is the closest i'll ever get to realizing my life-long dream of being part of andy warhol's factory. it's the floating clouds room in the warhol museum in pittsburgh. another highlight of the museum: a bruce nauman neon sculpture that alternates flashing two phrases -- RUN IN FEAR and FUN IN REAR

heh.

Longwillow Wedding Photohunt

can you spot 4 differences between these photos?





answers: rebecca's eyes are closed, viva's hair in hands, kara's head is turned, lubes looking down

How did she know?

arrrghly betty

Four Saucy Wenches and a Jolly Roger

real things in this picture:
the sky and the sea

fake things in this picture:
(from left to right)
olivia's tatoos
my tatoos
my hair
james' gold tooth



as i am typing this someone is smoking pot outside my window. but i'm like marvin berry's band. i don't mess around with no reefer addicts.

What do you pack for a pirate party?

leaving tomorrow night after work to go to the longwillow's piratical wedding parrrggghty. on the red-eye(patch) to boston will be me and my booty:

1 disney disguise (tm) jack sparrow headwrap including dreds, braids and beads

15 lucite pirate rings to be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis

1 horizonal striped black and white long sleeved t for pirate-esque rehearsal dinner get-up

1 black velvet and gold lamee skull and crossbones headband purchased at hot topic

2 big toes painted purple with black and white skull and crossbones as interpreted by tommy at apple nail

A flight of white?

Smooth Jazz, Killer Poncho

my computer is slow. it is old. it is a hand-me-down. and therefore, no photos for the intitiation of ugly bloggy - no photos to commemorate the day when i pause the incessant checking of your blog to create my own. maybe you'll find that this is more interesting than my friends' perfectly gorgeous children. i mean, these children are incredible. so incredible that i check their blogs multiple times a day just to see if maybe there's a new pic posted? maybe you'll find this more interesting than perezzers. probably not. i know i won't.

but maybe you will want to know that i'm sitting here watching the smooth jazz channel on moxi (ghetto version of tivo that comes free with time warner cable). jackheim joyner is playing 'share my tears' from the babysoul album. is this hard to read? do you want me to use capital letters?

leah bought me my second piece of official ugly betty merch, and i kicked off the work week wearing my new bright yellow tshirt - it features a blue sketch of marc aka michael urie, with words KILLER PONCHO! on it in cursive. it's a little too tight and gives me b.o. but it cured my case of the mondays.